Welcome to my life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don't belong

And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room?

With the radio on turned up so loud 

That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like

When nothing feels all right

You don't know what it's like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you 

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more?

Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?

Are you sick of everyone around?

With their big fake smiles and stupid lies

While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like

When nothing feels alright

You don't know what it's like

To be like me

To be hurt

To feel lost

To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you 

No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face

And no one ever stabbed you in the back

You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay

Everybody always gave you what you wanted

You never had to work it was always there

You don't know what it's like, what it's like

I just wish someone could understand.
I am so tired of everything.

iloveyou.

GET IT RIGHT

Just going to share my favorite song from glee that describes my feelings perfectly.

What have I done?

I wish I could run,

Away from this ship going under

Just trying to help

Hurt everyone else

Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions

Keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?

Can I start again, with my faith shaken?

Cause I can’t go back and undo this

I just have to stay and face my mistakes,

But if I get stronger and wiser, I’ll get through this

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,

And accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair!

Yeah, I’ll send out a wish, yeah, I’ll send up a prayer

And finally someone will see how much I care

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?

To get it right?

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

iloveyou.

Tiring Life

So it's already my last semester of my degree program now
*which is a good thing*
And basically I don't feel like I am a person who is going to graduate soon
As I think I still act like a first year student!
I still feel sad whenever I had to leave home,
I still can't solve some problems by myself,
I still can't speak BM fluently,
I still can't recognize the roads in Kuala Terengganu,
I still can't communicate with the people here,
And worst,
I still can't get used of the food i have everyday!
I really miss Penang food lahhhhh...
Everyday I will stare at the pictures of food that people posted in Facebook and drool...
I can't believe that I actually survived for more than 2 years here!
This is miracle!
But the bad thing is I become thinner and thinner...
Gonna start with a gain-weight-plan the moment I reach Penang!

So the title of this post is about how tired I am every single day.
I am a final year student now
And obviously I have to deal with the annoying final year project!
Although I have less classes this semester,
But I have to rush to the lab everyday to finish up my lab work whenever I have free time!
Okay maybe I can't blame anyone for this
Because everyone stayed back during break to complete their work
But I always go back on time!
Or maybe earlier =P
And I also refuse to come back early to finish up
Haha
That's is why my progress is slow and I am rushing like mad now!
Going to campus from 8am-5pm every single day is no joke man!
Feel super duper exhausted every day!
And what's worst?
Worst is I can hardly fall asleep at night despite how tired I am!
This is because before sleep,
I keep thinking of what to do tomorrow!
All the procedures and progress keep spinning in my head!
Oh goshhhhhhh
I NEED SLEEP, BRAIN!
STOP THINKING!

But thank God,
I only have this kind of life 4 days per week
So I will make full use of my long weekend to hibernate...
Sleep more than 12 hours every single day!
But still....
I still feel tired everyday...

Can't wait to finish up my lab work
So that I can have some normal life!

Okay so my eyes are closing as I'm typing.
I am really tired.
So goodnight peeps.









iloveyou.

3.1415

So.....
Today is pi day!
*okay i better stop being a nerd*
Pi is a value needed to calculate the area of a circle.
And coincidentally.....
My face is a circle too!
So,
Today is also my day!
*perasan*

But today is just another ordinary day...
Did nothing special because I can't do anything special here...
All I can do is staring at my laptop for the whole day
AND rot.
Feel so lifeless.
I am gonna go mad if my whole life is like this.
But fear not,
I am going to leave this place in 3 months time!
I've been waiting for this moment since I the first day I came here!
And finally...
The day I've been waiting for is finally coming to meeeee!

I already can't control my excitement by just thinking that I don't have to live this kind of life forever!
I guess you guys can understand because i kept posting about leaving ever since my first year.
Now that I finally grow up,
I should start to plan about my future!

And firstly,
I shall complete my internship at USM first and get a good grade.
After my internship,
I shall go on a vacation!

Okay that's all about my plan,
Will plan about the rest after my vacation lahhhh. XP










iloveyou.

Life is Not Fair

I've learnt something new today.
Something everyone might have known long long ago but I really experienced it thoroughly today.
I suddenly realized that no matter how much effort you put to help people during their miserable times or just a simple motivation when they have a bad day will eventually turns out to be nothing.
Yes.
I love to help.
I love to help without expecting anything in return.
This is because I know how awful it feels to be helpless.
I've been through that kind of situation numerous times and I know that the disability to seek help when you need it most, sucks.
I don't want people to feel like how I feel.
I feel happy whenever I get the chance to make people's life easier even that means sacrificing my beautiful sleep.
And from the bottom of my heart, it's true.

But today,
I learnt that people will not treat you like how you treat them.
I don't expect much.
I just wanna treated kindly and without cruelty.
I just want to be given respect, not insulted.
And I just want others to treat me with dignity.

But what I got is people taking advantage of me.

People take me for granted.

People making fun of me.

And nobody appreciates.

Sometimes I can't even differentiate whether the thank you i got is even sincere or not. 

So, I start to doubt.

Is being good the correct thing to do?

I am so sick of being treated like a doormat by people that I try so hard to be kind to.

Maybe I should really treat myself better because I deserve better. 









iloveyou.